Noticing the goodness

Bismillah,

Zenab's changing. Perhaps it's a good change. I didn't see it that way initially, however. I saw it as disobedience and disrespectful towards me. Anyone else would see it that way too, I'm sure. Her grandmother does so. So does her father. My sister in law feels the same way towards her own children when they do the exact same thing. What exactly did she do?

She's beginning to see her self as an individual. Someone with the ability to refuse compliance. To oppose authority. She always had likes and dislikes ever since she was a baby. Yet at the age of 3 she's learned to express them and wants things her way. When there's a clash between mom and daughter, there's a tantrum. There's crying followed by threats from mom followed by more crying and wailing and kicking and screaming from her. It usually ends with me winning but at the cost of hurt feelings and tears. (It hurts to type this. Really it does! I'm so sorry!)

Is she really being bad? We the parents look at our kids as an extension of us. We want to see them go places, live their lives, wear the outfit and eat the meals we see best. They're little, what would they know? Right? But really, it's not a big deal to let them have their way. It's not the end of the world if she doesn't want to nap or even read with mom but chooses to go play outside with her friends. It doens't hurt anyone if she skips a meal today. She'll eat when she's hungry. Why not let her decide her body's needs herself? Why can't we let them choose for themselves? Let them make mistakes and get messy. Don't we still love them despite the trouble they get into when they don't listen to us? I know I sure do. I'm going to take the time today and everyday inshaallah and tell my daughter how much I love her. I love how much she loves me back and that she tries to cheer me up when I'm down. I love how she cares for her sister. I love her smile and her laughter. I love her willingness to try to do things herself.

I will let her choose and make mistakes and I will be there to pick her up when she needs me. inshaallah.

How I do school with my 3 year old

Bismillah.

Here's how I have done school with my 3 year old daughter. It was how I began originally then got caught up in trying to work more like a school with time tables and rigid work times and fitting in more than my daughter (or I) could handle and everything became a total mess with no learning what so ever. It left my daughter in a fog. Then Allaah answered my prayers and I came back to my original method. I eased up, she learned more and we were both much much more happier! This ease of time and flexibility is one of the reasons I love homeschooling so much. Little kids don't need so many hours each day of table and chair work. They want play and to explore and be around those who they love and who care for them. That's not happening in schools here in Karachi. At least not where I live. The schools focus more on fees on time and neat and tidy appearance. But I'm getting carried away here. Here's my method:

1) Early in the morning I make note of 3 things I want to do with her today. They include:

1.   physical play (gross motor) 
2. reading and story telling with a little play to connect with the book or the story. 
3. And a last session where I do some academic work with here either letter recognition or we work on manners or math. Just one activity from my list of things to teach her (which I will post soon inshaAllah):

The way I have set them up relies heavily on my living situation. I live with my in-laws and the work load is greater then it would've been had I my own place (right?) which leaves me with only so much time on hands to do school. After lots of trial and error, and lots and lots of Dua' I saw 3 times during my day where I can manage some time with my daughter and hence came the 3 things I could do with her. I do the physical play in the morning because her cousins are usually present so I can easily include them with us as well. 

Afternoon I have to myself. So, typically after lunch we settle down for some down time and that's when I read books to both my daughters and tell Quranic stories or my own made up stories (which I'll post inshaAllah). If she falls asleep at this time, great. If not then I play with her. Whatever she wants to do we do it. On her terms. We just play. If she can't think of anything or is being fussy then I bring out my plans related to the book we read or story I told.

At around 7 p.m after DH had dinner there's time. This is where I can do my academic stuff with her and she's usually in the mood to do it by this time. Her cousins are busy doing homework and she had plenty of time to play with them and be with Baba so, it's a relaxed free time.

How did you end up here?

Hello and welcome to my blog. How did you end up here really? ;) Well, now that you are here and perhaps read around a bit, did you find anything interesting? Let me know through your comments. Never email me I won't be able to answer back.

This blog is about my own personal journey through life itself. Mom to two darling little girls (ages 3 years and 7 months), a wife and striving Muslimah, I blog here about raising my daughters and challenges in parenting in particular to Pakistan and about Islam and living each day trying to become a better slave to our Master and Creator, Allah. My posts are, if anything, meant to help and share ideas and concerns with other Pakistani moms, like me.

Glad you stopped by. Let me know what you think. :)
Umm Zenab