Bismillah,
Zenab's changing. Perhaps it's a good change. I didn't see it that way initially, however. I saw it as disobedience and disrespectful towards me. Anyone else would see it that way too, I'm sure. Her grandmother does so. So does her father. My sister in law feels the same way towards her own children when they do the exact same thing. What exactly did she do?
She's beginning to see her self as an individual. Someone with the ability to refuse compliance. To oppose authority. She always had likes and dislikes ever since she was a baby. Yet at the age of 3 she's learned to express them and wants things her way. When there's a clash between mom and daughter, there's a tantrum. There's crying followed by threats from mom followed by more crying and wailing and kicking and screaming from her. It usually ends with me winning but at the cost of hurt feelings and tears. (It hurts to type this. Really it does! I'm so sorry!)
Is she really being bad? We the parents look at our kids as an extension of us. We want to see them go places, live their lives, wear the outfit and eat the meals we see best. They're little, what would they know? Right? But really, it's not a big deal to let them have their way. It's not the end of the world if she doesn't want to nap or even read with mom but chooses to go play outside with her friends. It doens't hurt anyone if she skips a meal today. She'll eat when she's hungry. Why not let her decide her body's needs herself? Why can't we let them choose for themselves? Let them make mistakes and get messy. Don't we still love them despite the trouble they get into when they don't listen to us? I know I sure do. I'm going to take the time today and everyday inshaallah and tell my daughter how much I love her. I love how much she loves me back and that she tries to cheer me up when I'm down. I love how she cares for her sister. I love her smile and her laughter. I love her willingness to try to do things herself.
I will let her choose and make mistakes and I will be there to pick her up when she needs me. inshaallah.
Zenab's changing. Perhaps it's a good change. I didn't see it that way initially, however. I saw it as disobedience and disrespectful towards me. Anyone else would see it that way too, I'm sure. Her grandmother does so. So does her father. My sister in law feels the same way towards her own children when they do the exact same thing. What exactly did she do?
She's beginning to see her self as an individual. Someone with the ability to refuse compliance. To oppose authority. She always had likes and dislikes ever since she was a baby. Yet at the age of 3 she's learned to express them and wants things her way. When there's a clash between mom and daughter, there's a tantrum. There's crying followed by threats from mom followed by more crying and wailing and kicking and screaming from her. It usually ends with me winning but at the cost of hurt feelings and tears. (It hurts to type this. Really it does! I'm so sorry!)
Is she really being bad? We the parents look at our kids as an extension of us. We want to see them go places, live their lives, wear the outfit and eat the meals we see best. They're little, what would they know? Right? But really, it's not a big deal to let them have their way. It's not the end of the world if she doesn't want to nap or even read with mom but chooses to go play outside with her friends. It doens't hurt anyone if she skips a meal today. She'll eat when she's hungry. Why not let her decide her body's needs herself? Why can't we let them choose for themselves? Let them make mistakes and get messy. Don't we still love them despite the trouble they get into when they don't listen to us? I know I sure do. I'm going to take the time today and everyday inshaallah and tell my daughter how much I love her. I love how much she loves me back and that she tries to cheer me up when I'm down. I love how she cares for her sister. I love her smile and her laughter. I love her willingness to try to do things herself.
I will let her choose and make mistakes and I will be there to pick her up when she needs me. inshaallah.
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